The Healing

[Psalm 38; Isaiah 59; Romans 10]

Infection

Lord, forgive my insurrection
I have lost my direction
My body is filled with infection
Because of my wayward heart

I have not heeded your Word
Your commands have gone unheard
My sickness has peaked and surged
Because I didn’t do my part

I need a resurrection
I pray for a fresh start
Clean my sinful heart
Place me under your protection

Forgive me Father
For I have sinned
Your Word says I will do it again
Yet you continue to be my friend

So I thank you for your grace
Thank you for your mercy
I know there is nothing I will face
Beyond the peace from our conversing

Amen.

Conversation Peace

The full moon shined brightly in the darkness as Friday night turned into early Saturday morning.

The moonlight bounced off of a black car that streaked through silence - Stevie Wonder’s “Rocket Love” yielded a failed attempt to find music on the radio, which encouraged me to turn off the radio.

It seemed that Friday night that everyone was busy or asleep - understandable, of course - but unfulfilling nonetheless.

Even ESPN did little to fill the evening - and then something spoke to me, something that made so much sense.

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The night before, my second cousin asked if I knew of any Bible verses to share with him; an incoming freshman in college, he had some fears about the experience.

“God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and of a sound mind,” I told him - a response that encouraged him. It felt good to have that exchange with him, and I shared a few chapters with him this time around - Matthew 6, I Corinthians 13 and I John 4.

He asked about the Bible as he sat in his dorm room on a quiet evening - a scene that reminded me of my first semester in college. Scenes like that take me to my Bible study classes, where I encourage the youth to consistently read the Bible. One of the points of reference is that first semester, a semester where I read the Bible every day and earned my highest GPA.

I didn’t tell my cousin that story, but I did leave him with a few words:

“Make sure you read your Bible every semester.”

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“Lord, renew my spirit and my strength,” I prayed during the ride home.

I felt that I had more to do, despite the fact that it was around 1:30 a.m. in the morning.

The wind that whipped through the front windows of the car was the only answer.

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“I just want to spend a little time with you, Kenton,” a voice said to me.

“There’s no one to be found. Not on the computer, not on the phone, not via text, anything, is there?”

No.

“I have some things I want to say to you.”

I turn off the computer, I turn off the TV and I pick up a nearby Bible.

Where do you want me to turn?

“Follow your heart.”

I close my eyes and flip through the pages until I land in the book of Psalms - Chapter 46.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble,” verse one reads.

“Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth,” verse 10 offers.

Usually, I will turn to Isaiah for verses about the renewal of strength. However, I found peace in Chapter 46, which I followed with 47.

I sat for a while and then flipped some more pages to Chapter 51.

“Your heart.”

“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit with me. Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation and uphold me with thy free spirit,” verses 10 and 11 read.

“This is what you requested in your prayer, yes?”

Yes.

“Relax. And read.”

Chapters 52, 55 and 56 are verses addressing how we should deal with foes - and presumed friends - that treat us adversely.

“And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest. Didn’t you say something like that earlier?”

But my equals - eagles - gun the runway in preparation to fly. It's not the same, but...

“David and you are similar. You are both writers, and the both of you have the ability to do a lot with a little. He was a person that dealt with same things you’re dealing with now. Learn from him…”

“Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?”

This verse - Psalm 56:8 - intrigues me as the Bible sits open. The following passages speak to trusting God, but the wording inspires me to write something more…

…hmmmmm. It’s time to do a lot with a little once more…

Showers and Flowers (Part 2)

April showers bring May flowers – I'm sure you've heard it before. The saying really makes sense for me this week, though.

It's worth mentioning that it has rained all day and will likely rain all this week. Everyone who's read the previous blog knows why that's going to be fun all by itself.

Here's how this week has gone/will go:
Sunday — My first cousin gave birth to a seven-pound, 10-ounce little girl.
Wednesday — My girlfriend and I began our relationship one year ago today.
Thursday — My younger brother graduates from college.
Friday — A friend of mine; ironically enough, the one indirectly responsible for bringing my girlfriend and I together, will enjoy a birthday.
Sunday — One of my best friends will also enjoy a birthday, on Mother's Day, no less.

As I type this, I'm listening to Roy Ayers' "Everybody Loves the Sunshine," and I would be lying to you if I didn't tell you how enamored I am with Ayers' music.

I admit, I am also enamored with my family – and my girlfriend, with whom I feel the need to speak my heart about, with a little help from Ayers' discography:

Everybody Loves the Sunshine
and Good Vibrations
But what happens when we face life's situations?
You turn A Tear Into a Smile
Make me come alive
I Wake Up with Drive thanks to your Mahogany Vibe
Spoken Word is inefficient to appreciate your true brillance
Music of Many Colors describes the kaleidoscopic heart of a vivrant lover
You Send Me into a Fever, Hot Coffy
'Latte laced with caramel toffee
This kind of intimacy
Must come from one with true Ubiquity...

Happy Anniversary sweetheart.

Thanks Roy Ayers, and thank you guys for reading. Peace...

Blank Slate (Part 1)

You know how the sky looks when it appears that it’s going to rain – overcast, it doesn’t matter whether it’s light or slightly gray – but the sky looks completely clear?

I love it, and I love what it represents.

First of all, let me say that I enjoy the rain. It’s unfortunate that this particular type of inclement weather gets a bad rap; yes, I know it’s bad for people’s hair and I know it messes up your plans. That’s the thing, though – when it rains, you’re forced to sit down and evaluate things – it forces you to sit down and think.

I embrace that quiet time, and when I look at the skies, it makes sense that rainy weather encourages my thought process. Think about it – a blank slate.

The sky, as infinite as it appears, features nothing. Not a cloud, not a bird in the sky, nothing. It’s unconquered, untapped, full of potential – just like our thoughts. A blank slate gives one an opportunity to express him or herself – a chance to employ creativity to its fullest.

But wait, there’s more.

A blank slate also implies redemption. How many of us would love to go back in time and do things differently? How many of us would like to go back two years? Two months? Two days? Exactly.

I find it reassuring that I can look up to the sky, even when it’s raining and chaotic, and can feel redeemed.

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it. – Malachi 3:10

Peace.

An Answer to "Lions, Tigers and Bears"

Endangered Species

Blowing through the Jazmine on my mind…
Blowing through the Jazmine on my mind…

Lions and tigers and bears
Sounds like a jungle out there
Machetes mow through the bushes
In a push to find something rare

So what does the pursuit of flawless
Cost us?
Only seeing through the canopy
Not aware of the ecology
Traipsing through like immature tourists
We ripped through the rainforest

Now our circumstances are porous
Poor us
For not appreciating the resources before us
Now restoration’s the new destination
Trying to find a way like a Tribe Called Quest
Who can heal a child distressed?
A tribe called blessed
Except

She’s caught in a web
Still cravin’ the hunter
Yet at the same time
Running away from the predator
That’s trying to confront her
The lies she’s had to bear
She’s tired
Going around in circles
She’s mired
In a heart of darkness
She’s expired
Thinking that love’s retired

[Bruce Wayne/Batman: “That bandit … in the forest at Burma … did you catch him?”
Alfred: “Yes.”
Bruce Wayne/Batman: “How?”
Alfred: “We burned the forest down.”]

Forgive my Tony Toni Tone of voice
Lay your head on my pillow
Never thought in this wasteland
I’d find a weeping willow…

Maybe Hell Froze Over

It snowed Tuesday morning.

One would think that being home in my native Carolinas, that on an annual basis, the winter ground would be covered with snow.

For the most part, that’s the case, save for my county. Two hours north? It snows and snows and snows. Here, though, I think it’s only showed thrice in the years that I can remember.

Of course, Tuesday was a day for history; Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States, was sworn into office. For many, the occasion was long-overdue - a powerful occasion filled with emotion.

Where was I during the inauguration? Getting ready to make a lengthy drive to see my girlfriend. Truthfully, my thoughts weren’t on the inauguration and the subsequent parties, but rather on what would happen the days, the weeks, the months and the years after.

I thought to compare the reactions of those blissfully happy with Tuesday’s events to a child in my hometown that sees snow – somewhat ironic, considering Obama’s mention of I Corinthians 13:11:

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

I thought about those words in conjunction with my comparison, and then simply thought of how fitting it would be that the change of leadership from what some might consider a hellish regime would be accompanied with rare snow.

Maybe Hell froze over.

My racing, insatiable mind wouldn’t have it.
You see, I have this habit of not just reading or listening to a bible verse, but wanting to read the entire chapter in the hopes of a better understanding.

I Corinthians 13 also has a significant nickname - the Love Chapter.(For starters, I challenge you all to click the "Bible On the Web" link to the left of you and read it in its entirety.

Another verse that captured my eye –(v. 10) "But when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away.”

Then, I remembered back to the snow that fell earlier Tuesday. How it didn’t stick; how, even if it had, the sunlight would’ve eventually melted it.

And that hell hasn’t frozen over just yet.

John 16:33 – “I have said this to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

“If I Were a Boy” (and other "Non-Ballads")

Ballad (n.) – 1. A simple song. 2. A narrative poem of strongly marked rhythm suitable for singing. 3. A slow, romantic dance song.

I was watching VH1 Soul recently – great station, for the most part – and the music channel aired the video for one of Beyonce’s new songs – “If I Were a Boy.”

The gist of the song/video is that Beyonce plays a perceived traditional role of a male who disregards his girlfriend’s concerns and feelings for him, feelings that lead to the male engaging in flirtatious activity with a co-worker and the like.

The climax of the video is where Beyonce, who plays the dominant role, says “It’s not like I’m sleeping with the boy or something,” a statement that is answered by a sudden pause. Then, the male in the video exclaims, “It’s not like I’m sleeping with the girl or something,” an act that designates the role reversal back to the perception that males seem to engage in relationships with a certain disregard – lack of deep emotional attachment, rather – for their partner’s feelings.

This video seems to strike a chord with females that I’ve encountered recently; some have offered that Beyonce has brought an unchecked topic in relationships to the light – that Beyonce has offered some measure of truth.

At the video’s end, though, I felt a deep-seeded emptiness. The emptiness wasn’t derived from some theory I’d gained via an argument left for a battle of the sexes; no, I just didn’t feel the love.

There’s that word again, the word that fills the acronym of this writer’s BLOG, a word that has been brought up so many times. A word that Musiq Soulchild once said we use in vain.

I am inclined to agree with the Philly-based crooner. Today’s love songs seem to be lacking the aforementioned ingredient; since we’re talking about Beyonce, it seems that her recent catalog of music has consisted of ‘party song’ followed by ‘boy-bashing song;’ songs such as “Single Ladies,” “If I Were a Boy” and “Irreplaceable” do little to disprove my point.

Some will offer that her songs are merely entertainment, a point well-taken. Others will offer that she’s only singing about things that periodically happen – YES! That’s the point – and the problem.

You guys know I have an old-school spirit; to say that doesn’t mean that my opinions are derived from unchanging traditions or from hypocritical standards. When I hear today’s songs along the chords that I’ve mentioned, it reminds me of the times we’re living in, and how frustrating it is at times when art imitates life.

To hear songs by Roberta Flack, by Jeffery Osborne, by Stevie Wonder makes me feel that I’m 20 years behind my time – like I should’ve been born when Soul Train really meant something. Or, to express my point, when soul music – or the ballad – meant something.

In my opinion, there’s a certain joy – almost unmatched – that comes with rediscovering good music. I see why oldheads keep records stashed away – it’s almost like getting a Christmas gift, wrapping it back up, then unwrapping it anytime you feel like you need a boost. That being said, you know that an artist is GREAT when you’re listening to a CD of a particular artist and there’s an abrupt pause – such as when you arrive at a destination or something comes up – and instead of succumbing to something simple as getting out of the car, you feel inclined to sit in the car and hear the song out. And hear the next song out.

That happened to me the other night with my Essential Isley Brothers CD (great Christmas gift, for anyone looking to get a jump on holiday shopping). It’s a two-CD set, which was nothing good for someone like myself. Let’s just say I was in the car for a while with a lineup that included “Brown-Eyed Girl,” “For the Love of You (Parts 1 and 2),” and “Groove With You;” then I moved ahead and listened to “Summer Breeze” and “Make Me Say It Again Girl (Parts 1 and 2).”

I would and could express how I feel when I hear the lyrics of the likes of the aforementioned artists, but I’ll simply say that you can feel the love that emits from their souls; the sense of urgency and longing that comes from such records. It’s a true emotion that, despite the times we live in, I hope never becomes antiquated.

***

My girlfriend and I recently enjoyed each other’s company at an antique shop – where I happened to glance across a collection of old records. Among those records were the two that I featured in the previous blog – the Roberta Flack and Kool and the Gang offerings.
The titles of the LPs speak for themselves, but I couldn’t help but embrace the irony of two people aspiring to share a timeless relationship in a place that engages and encourages timelessness.

Needless to say, she loves antiques. Maybe there’s a place for an oldhead like me yet ;-)