18

"I’m going to need for you to write a new post, mister.”
--Shug

:) They don’t appreciate you until you’re gone for a short while.

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I talked to my last girlfriend the other day.

Her birthday’s on March 18, and we hadn’t talked in a really long time, so I thought that her birthday would be a perfectly alright day to strike up conversation.

We made a little small talk … she’s actually in the Army (or Navy?) now, she says she’s homesick, I tell her about myself, and that’s that.

I got off the phone with her and just smiled. Not necessarily because I was able to chat with an old friend though.

Because of that number.

Why so significant?

Here’s the quick of it.

We officially started dating one February 18. Her birthday, you already know. My birthday, as you know, is on July 18, my 18th birthday. We broke up a month later, when I started my matriculation.

Yep, she was the last girlfriend I had. In high school. That was the summer of 2001 … you guys can do the math.

Now, I’ve had a lot of lady friends … just never had sex with them or had it so that they were my ‘girlfriend’.

In fact, during the period of time from then to now, I’ve actually learned more through failed efforts at attaining a ‘girlfriend’ … and I honestly can’t call them failed, because
I still communicate with those young ladies, and with some of them, I feel like they feel as if they missed out on something special.

Not saying that to be cocky, it’s just the dynamic of what happens when you meet someone, and you want to have a relationship with them, but what they want in the short-term is sex. You don’t want sex, though, and in turn, they don’t want you … well, they don’t want a relationship.

Lot of reasons for that … people are afraid, people are unsure, people get hurt and are unable to trust … and I can respect that.

I use the term ‘respect’ loosely because I used to frown at this fact, used to frown upon the fact that I didn’t necessarily have to be in this predicament because I was a naïve kid that didn’t know what he had at home.

Ironically enough, my last girlfriend (who I’m reluctant to call ‘18’, even for the sake of this post, ha ha) had some of the same fears, and it was those fears that ultimately broke us up.

Fear. Such a funny word. Yet an entity that in collusion with doubt can break down the most firm of relationships.

And that’s the funny thing about this all. Even as I’ve long to scratch what has almost become (an aptly-named) seven-year itch, I’ve never had a doubt that I would run across someone that would be as fearless as I, unafraid to love.

Love being more than infatuation, more than a spark … but love being sacrifice and growing to commitment.

And whether that someone and I grow a relationship that buds into something truly special is unimportant, because the process is advancement by default, a chance to gain a friend or gain an opportunity to learn.

I guess that’s why it’s fitting that I met this latest someone on January 19th.

See you guys around…